Boeing To Simply Replace All Cockpit Displays With Flightradar24

LE BOURGET—Boeing has made an announcement at the Paris Air Show that completely re-thinks cockpit design. In a move that industry experts and pilot unions have already lauded as revolutionary, the aircraft manufacturer has announced that all future aircraft deliveries will have each and every cockpit display replaced with flat screens showing FlightRadar24.

“This has been long overdue,” CEO David Calhoun told reporters on Wednesday. “All that pilots really need to know is where they are, how fast they are going and which other aircraft are in the vicinity. Anything beyond this is unnecessary clutter to make cockpits more impressing than they really are.”

As 737 chief pilot Jennifer Henderson confirmed, current cockpit instruments simply loop through blinking patterns, and dials randomly move around to give pilots the impression they are actually doing anything. “This is 2023, no pilot actually needs to know what the hydraulic brake pressure is. Computers have been doing this for many years now, and they’re doing it much better than humans. All a 737 series pilot really needs to do is announce the destination’s weather conditions to the passengers, and assure them the delay is because of a strike in French ATC. Having Flightradar24 running on all cockpit screens is a much better way to achieve this.”

At press time, Boeing has also revealed plans that all yokes, rudder pedals and trim wheels will be replaced with touchscreen displays on which the pilots can drag a little airplane symbol to where on a map they want it to go.

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